Ever heard ‘the best view comes after the hardest climb’?
I’m sure we can all resonate with this motivational quote: when we’ve ascended the steep periods of life, we come out on top with a refreshing sense of perspective. But what about when you’re still in the thick of the climb? I believe it’s not just at the heights that we find light - there’s also a silver lining in even the darkest of places, a softness in the craggiest of cliffs.
Life is full of mystifying dualities, after all: for every up there is a down, for every high, a low, for every growth, a contraction… When you’re at the lows of your wellbeing, it often feels impossible to see the silver lining. Yet in those moments, it’s most important to acknowledge the value of your present experience, offering a guide when you feel lost. Like a sherpa leading you up the mountain, having the right awareness, tools and support to know what lies ahead can help you find your way to the peak, whether you’re at rock bottom where the journey seems impossible, stuck in the deepest and most frustrating ruts or losing momentum in the dips.
There’s often a common thread when it comes to patterns in our wellbeing, even though all our experiences are unique. With this in mind, I’ve devised a simple table based on my More Scale, which takes a deeper dive into the lows I believe we will all experience, shedding a light on the surprising silver linings within, and showcasing what you can expect in a dip, rut or rock bottom. While mental health is no one-size-fits all, you can use the table below to navigate your Everest with awareness of the challenges - and opportunities - that may lie ahead.
Dip |
Rut |
Rock Bottom |
|
|---|---|---|---|
What it is |
Feeling stuck in a loop, trapped in our core beliefs about ourselves and the space we occupy in the world. The resistance we feel might stem from our subconscious beliefs about ourselves and the world. | Feeling stuck, on autopilot. Life feels hard, we might have no motivation, and we’re not making any progress - it can feel like you are trekking through mud. | A rock bottom is really when something completely unexpected hits you – it’s like the rug has been pulled under your feet. |
How it feels |
In dating you’re struggling to find the right person and you’re starting to doubt yourself. You are in a new job and realising it’s not exactly what you hoped for. | Resigned, frozen, lack of drive, lack of motivation, frustrated, dissatisfied, autopilot, quiet resignation. | Shock, lack of control, losing all your security, helpless, grief, heart ache. |
The silver lining |
You have enough energy to work through the doubts, figure out what you want and don’t want. | You’ve been living far from who you really are and this is an opportunity make changes; you only need to decide and to start taking action | It’s a wake-up call/ realisation/permission to rest and take it slow. |
Biggest mindset challenge |
You doubt your ability to make good decisions. You doubt that you are allowed to express your dissatisfaction or disappointment. | You are afraid to make big decisions that can cause big changes in your life. You’re essentially avoiding due to fear. You are afraid to fail/be rejected/to lose your security. | You believe that you are bad. You blame yourself for the rock bottom. You are afraid that you won’t survive or recover from this crisis. |
Ready to get excited about what lies ahead?
I devised this tool to help you identify where you are in your mental health journey. I hope it helps you see what others are going through so that you know that you are not alone. We use this scale in our MORE Community as a universal language to help us connect with each other.