What if you could meet yourself five years from now?

This is my happy place - now and in the future

Imagine an older, wiser version of you. Where you feel secure, confident, and free to enjoy your life. 

• Where do you live? 

• How do you look?

• What do you do? 
  

Imagery is not about seeing the details clearly; it’s a way to get the essence of the experience. So don’t try to see all the details yet.

Like meeting a new person for the first time, you will meet your future self for the first time. There is no way you can know everything about this person right away! 

This is a short introductory meditation to help you take the first step to get to know yourself. 

It has helped many of my clients feel hopeful about their life again. I hope it does the same for you! 

Please share this with someone whose future you believe in. I want us to support each other in achieving our dreams!

Are you living in your authenticity?

It’s one thing to have a vision of your future self; it’s another to bring that vision to life. The process of becoming your authentic self is called ‘individuation’. As we individuate, we get a clear sense of the self separate from everyone else’s idea of us. Although it is seen as a crucial part of human development, especially during adolescence, you will see by the end of this article that it is actually a lifelong process of undoing and letting go of old versions of yourself. I hope this article will inspire you to penetrate the magnificent space of your uniqueness and all the things that make you - you! 

The individuation process can be challenging as it can cause you to confront things about yourself that may be at once pleasant and unpleasant, leading to turmoil and conflict for some people. It is difficult because it leads us to challenge the norms and question family dynamics and the lines of boundaries. Some people have even become aware of untreated mental illnesses, while some had to confront childhood traumas. Doing this type of work with the support of a trained therapist is therefore strongly recommended.

It also means looking deeply at what communication styles you have been exposed to and comparing them to how you would prefer to communicate. You may need to explore the expectations that have been embedded in you by your family and your community, as well as society in general. You can compare these expectations to what you actually want to do and what makes you happy.

There is nothing to be ashamed of here - your behavior, depression, and anxiety are simply there to alert you that you are living far from your authentic self.

Suppressing or denying the authentic self can however lead to distress and problems with self-identity. Here are some indications that you could benefit from individuation work: 

• You feel stuck and lack clarity about what you want

• You feel unsatisfied and even frustrated with your life

• You struggle with goal-setting and motivation

• You doubt your own decision-making skills

• You struggle to express yourself

• You have poor boundaries

• You have low self-worth

• You keep repeating old behavioral patterns, including risky behavior such as alcohol or substance abuse

• You feel like you are just like one of your parents

• You are afraid to be alone and resist independence

• You fear rejection

• Your mental health is suffering - you experience anxiety and/or depression

You should seek help if individuation is causing risky behaviors and if you are experiencing symptoms of a mental illness such as depression or anxiety. There is nothing to be ashamed of here - your behavior, depression, and anxiety are simply there to alert you that you are living far from your authentic self. The work will allow you to strip off layers of elements buried underneath your responsibilities and social roles, leading you to assert your own independent identity and establish a cohesive sense of self. It will help you face the fears you have about removing masks of conformity and stand the ground of your values and the essence of what makes you flourish. 

This does not mean that you abandon the way you were raised, the beliefs instilled in you. Nor do you have to fight or blame cultures and religions. What individuation really requires us to do, is to embrace the parts of us that we believe can contribute to a positive and happier version of us. It is not a betrayal but a choice for a healthier future. 

You will quickly learn that your future self is not this high and mighty image of perfection that you hope to achieve somewhere in the distant future.

Individuation helps you pave a beautiful path for your future true self, and it equips you to shift from unconscious behavior to conscious choices and actions. The more authentically you walk on this path, the clearer and less scary it becomes. You will quickly learn that your future self is not this high and mighty image of perfection that you hope to achieve somewhere in the distant future. Your future self is the true self that already lives inside of you. It wants to guide and support you to create a life that brings you the most joy, wholeness, and fulfillment. 

So ask your true self to tell you what limiting beliefs and insecurities stand in your way of becoming the best version of yourself. Then ask yourself if you could use a trusted guide to support you as you embark on your bold new journey.

Your authentic self is waiting for you on the other side of your fears. To help you get started, take action by booking a free 20 minute session with me before you lose your nerve. Other than that, you’ve got nothing to lose. Go ahead, BOOK NOW. It’s free.

How to feel optimistic after the pandemic

The circle of life - a pattern that we have become accustomed to, learning to go with the flow and live to make it to the next day. How do we become optimistic and excited about our future when we have experienced huge changes in routines, relationships, careers, and finances?

The pandemic has left us with so many uncertainties and losses, it's hard to imagine a future while at the same time recovering from those losses. Women in particular have been subject to being the glue that holds families together, remain strong after losing or giving up jobs, and carry on living with all the emotions trapped underneath the masks. Now with the world slowly opening back up, and the masks suddenly starting to come off, we have to learn to step outside and face the world again with confidence that we can still experience a life we dream of. 

Now with the world slowly opening back up, and the masks suddenly starting to come off, we have to learn to step outside and face the world again with confidence that we can still experience a life we dream of.

You may be a mother, a teacher, a wife, a stay-at-home parent, a career woman, a socialite, a chef, an adventurer, or anything you see yourself as. It makes us happy, and it warms our hearts when we are recognized for the things we are. If you look at it, you are a mother because you have a child, a wife because you have a spouse, a career woman because you have a career. Moreso, a chef needs to make food to achieve that identity, an adventurer needs the adventure to achieve that identity. There is everything beautiful in being proud of these elements but, beyond these, how do we plan a future that stands out from our responsibilities? 

The answer is to connect with your true self. As much as all these titles are a part of you and your life, they are all dependent on something else. Your identity is rooted in more than just your name, pronouns, gender, what you do, and what you are. Whilst that is a big part of the external you, who you then become when that is stripped off, is the real you – your true self. The ability to know yourself better can help you make effective decisions and achieve goals. Until you recognize your true self you become the name or title that has been given to you. For example, are you really Lucy, or is Lucy your name?

For example, are you really Lucy, or is Lucy your name?

What sets you apart from everyone else? Figuring out what you like, and dislike is a great start at narrowing down your true self. That leads you to think about things you are passionate about. Those things that make you sleep better at night and that you wake up for, are key aspects of your true self. 

Your identity narrative is the story you tell when you talk of your past, your present, and what it means to be you. What carried you through all the things you have been through, the lessons you choose to learn as you grow, what you believe in, and the things you fight for. It is those precious parts about you that have been consistent in making you happy and helping you move forward every single day. Those thoughts you possess deep down when you wake up to face another day. 

For example, you are a survivor because you always chose to rise above circumstances and challenges. That is a quality you possess no matter what happens to you. Once you have established true self-realization, you will begin to feel an understanding of what you stand for and where you want to go.

There is nobody else anywhere on this planet that has your gifts, skills, your talents. Your true self deserves to live and flourish from this moment on.

One simple question to help you discover Your True Self as you step into your new future with confidence.

In over a decade of observation, I have seen first-hand that career advances, life changes, growth, and societal standards, require us to step out of our comfort zone.

When we are unsure how to be ourselves or exercise our freedom in a given space, we tend to retreat to behaviours that let us fit in. This instinctive survival tactic urges us to move further and further away from our true essence. Building on what works at that moment and putting on whatever cape we need—whether it is the right fit for us or not. This is something that most of us are good at. It is easy to slide into and get fixated on these roles. Life, in general, has conditioned us to—in a sense—become our responsibilities, statuses, and titles. This activates a cycle of getting attached to the things we feel are responsible for driving us and giving us purpose every day. We then believe that this is how our future needs to be. The truth is, this fixation leads us to lose a sense of our true selves.

“Life, in general, has conditioned us to—in a sense—become our responsibilities, statuses, and titles.”

I believe that our true self is who when we are free from the attachments to careers, roles, and fears. We are not what we do or what we are afraid to do. We are instead the sum of our values, beliefs, and principles. Imagine how different our lives could be if we strengthened our attachments to what we enjoy and what truly matters to us? Undoubtedly, this is bound to give us a more genuine view of problem-solving, facing fears, and understanding the true strength of our abilities.

The best way to establish your true self, free from your work and other responsibilities, is to ask yourself this question: what does your ideal day look like, from start to end?

Imagine how different our lives could be if we strengthened our attachments to what we enjoy and what truly matters to us?

Think about starting your day with you, simply being you. Raw, unrefined, unique, and the source of your own happiness. That alone has enough power to help you self-reflect and connect with your inner authenticity. By doing so, you are giving yourself permission to be you. Start identifying all of your incredible qualities. Make a list and visualise how they can begin breathing new life into every aspect of your life. Consider small changes you can make in areas like your work environment. Then look at your living space. Then your thoughts, but most importantly, your relationships.

Why is this so important? You will be able to stand out on your own, outside the expectations and norms of society and do things that bring you joy and happiness. That means you are being as true to your true self as possible. Aligning your thoughts, words, and actions. Think about it: You thrive when you are aligned and being authentic. It is the essence of our legitimacy and an integral part of our well-being. It helps inject a sense of wholeness when you align your actions and your core values and principles. And that, my friends, can lead to functioning far more in sync with your true, authentic self.

Ten Key Benefits of Living With Authenticity (That Your Future Self Will Thank You For!)

Although it can be challenging, the benefits of being truthful and authentic are endless. Once we are conscious of authenticity and how much liberation it brings, not only does our life become brighter, but our future is built on a solid and sustainable foundation.

10 key benefits of living with authenticity:

1 Personal Growth

Where you go is greatly influenced by who you are and who you are becoming. When you know yourself better, you see your potential and you start caring about yourself so much that you can't help but water it with the best of your abilities. The growth that is rooted in who you really are is sustainable. You can look forward to a future where you enjoy growing!

2 Passionate Dedication

With authenticity comes a greater understanding of where your interests reside. When you know what you love to do, you generally develop a desire to be more focused and dedicated to going after your passions because you are aware of how much joy and contentment it brings you. This passionate dedication helps you persevere when times are tough. You are more likely to make sacrifices now and have the future you desire.

3 Simple Spirituality

Your true self is capable of setting realistic goals that you are able to achieve. You give up the drama and chaos because you are living within your means and no longer focused on things like people-pleasing and conforming to societal expectations. You learn to better appreciate the little things, together with bigger things, and practice gratitude. This gives you the discipline to be present while at the same time, working on your future.

4 Creative Focus

Authenticity opens a new awareness of your surroundings. You begin to distinguish what is important and not. That means, amidst the chaos and noise of the world, you can reduce distractions and zoom in on what is vital and fruitful. As you become still, a beautiful way of concentrating and engaging in the here and now opens you up to your inherent creativity. Knowing how to access your creativity gives you an essential problem-solving tool to make your future a reality.

5 Real Relationships

Healthy relationships require elements like honesty, trust, and emotional transparency. Most of these are a big part of our values and principles, the things we can only truly tap into once we open ourselves up to live authentically. As a result, you learn to truly feel your feelings in a way that matters to you versus standards curated by other people’s experiences. Happily, you begin to express yourself truthfully and are more open to meaningful connections. When you feel supported, you are also more likely to achieve your goals for your future.

6 Confident Communication

Effective communication fosters trust with others, something that your true self understands better. Communicating authentically means being honest, open, and thoughtful in what you say. It is also how you listen and respond to what you hear. When you communicate authentically, you bring your whole self, your thoughts, feelings, and experiences with you. You show others that you respect yourself as well as them. When you're honest and direct, people pay attention and hear you, which makes you feel confident to be heard even more.

7 Lead with Integrity

As your confidence grows, you’ll inspire respect in others as they see you living in your truth. Everyone wants someone to look up to, and people recognize and respect authenticity. When people see you living in alignment with your values, see you being straightforwardly yourself, their trust in you will soar. If you become honest and trustworthy, you’re more likely to have the future you want - rather than the one you try to avoid.

8 Aligned Decision Making

This is mainly rooted in your authentic traits and values. When you are clear about your values, they become the authentic pillars from which all your decisions are made. It helps you slow down and become more mindful as you ask: 'how does this decision fit with my authentic pillars?' As you start making better decisions, you will trust yourself more, you will enjoy planning, and will feel less anxious about your future.

9 Well-Being

Living in alignment means you’re much more likely to take care of yourself, you’ll prioritize self-care, rest, and balance. People committed to living an authentic life are more likely to eat healthy foods, exercise, and get regular physical exams. Being your authentic self also sets you up for better mental health as you are calmer, less conflicted, and are generally all-around happier. Your future self depends on you taking care of your well-being now!

10 …And Action!

I hope you feel inspired to go out there and be yourself. Nothing is more empowering than owning who you are and taking responsibility for your future. This means that you take small action steps daily that express your true self and will get you closer to the future you want.